Whats new:

This is how i looked on Easter. 

This is the more personal part of my blog. I will be posting about random stuff daily.

   First off, lets get the bad stuff out first. I am disgusted with myself. I ate and ate and ate today and couldn't stop. People always say to others, "Just stop, it can't be that hard." But it is. Its so hard. I put myself on a strict diet of 700 calories. Women, especially teens, aren't supposed to go under 1,200. But here is what happens. I eat an orange in the morning to keep the cravings away, and that will be all i eat that day. I usually do that for a week. But then, maybe one day I eat an orange and a couple crackers. Then i feel like i lost control  because I had forbidden myself to eat anything else. Then my mind goes to "I already blew it, might as well go full force." Then i literally eat. and eat. and eat. I'm not talking here and there, I'm talking about non stop eating. Here is what i ate today, and I am not proud.:
 
        2 cups of mint ice cream, 3 kit kat bars, a butt load of chips, a whole jar of hummus and like 50 crackers, 3 pickles, 3 bowls of cookie crisp with almond milk, 2 handfuls of skittles, 2 butterscotch krimpets, 50 more crackers, some grapes, some naked juice, some vegetable soup, and 4 oreo cookies. My stomach was so full and like 4x the size of what it normally is. I might start posting pictures to scare myself out of doing it. Then i attempted to throw up but all that came up was ice cream and cereal. I went from 103 lbs in the beginning of May to 123 now. My new clothes that i got in May were all extra small and i dont fit them anymore. I actually hate myself. And since I know nobody reads this crap, I'll just say that i plan on not eating for the next 3 days. Enough of that crap now.

        I have 3 new 'nieces' which are technically my second cousins but my sister is fostering them I guess. She might be keeping them, I don't know. There is baby Maddison AKA Maddie. She is 7 months old. She is the most adorable baby I have ever seen. Then there are Mackenzie AKA Babe, 2 years old, and Morgan AKA Morgie, 3 years old. I have only visited them twice and I love them. My sister's boyfriend's son, Derrick, helped me fold wash all day and then we played with the kids on Monday. They look like twins. They have long golden blonde angel curls and bright blue eyes. Before I left, they gave me a hug. Ah, I miss them. Yeah I'm just rambling on about my life because I usually never talk to anyone about this crap.

    My Grandma went to the hospital today. Shes not doing so swell but I'm not worried because shes a strong woman. I know she'll be fine.

    I only met this one kid two times, and this may be because I haven't been in contact with a dude in like 2 years, but whenever i think about him i get a small case of 'butterflies'. I don't know. hes just so nice and not awkward at all. And hes funny. I don't know.
 
      Yeeeuuuup thats all I'm posting for now.The picture is how i looked in April, I know its gross. But i wish i still looked like that.